3.27.2012

Phobias.

All right... we're gonna be real here today.
We all have phobias.
Whether you can't do spiders, heights, small spaces... you get the idea.

I have anxiety, stress, emotions when I need to pray with anyone other than myself.

It's weird.
It's not normal for someone who is involved with God so much.
But it's me.

I always worry about whether people think my prayer is deep enough or filled with all these beautfiul words that make the point so much more extravagant than it needs to be.
Why can't we pray real quick and to the point?

Dear God,
I pray you can walk through this day with me providing strength and encouragement.
Amen.

Am I a bad person for not extending an entire novel when I pray??
Do you think God is judging me for making it short and sweet?
Do other people think I'm ridiculous and not grounded in my Faith for praying so lightly?

I pray multiple times a day.
For friends, family, struggles, advice-- whatever pops into my head.
I stop for 15 seconds say a little prayer and go about my business.
Isn't that enough for the Lord?

I think so.

I guess it comes back to me always being a people pleaser and it's starting to royally bite me in the toosh so I need to start letting those little things go.
Who cares if someone thinks I don't pray good.
Who cares if they think I'm unstable in my walk with Christ.
I'm here to serve for my Father.
As long as I'm doing just that-- there shouldn't be judgment.

Don't you think??

3.21.2012

Cabin Fever

We're so blessed to have some amazing friends in our life.
David and Holly Martinez are the BEST.
We go to church together, enjoy Happy Hour and have puppy play-dates.
It doesn't get much better than that!

Our goal with them?
Co-owning a cabin north of Phoenix, AZ.
Prescott-Flagstaff-Sedona
WHATEVER.
We want to be secluded;
 but close enough for accessibility to coffee shops and restaurants.

So yesterday Holly started a pinboard with some Cabin inspiration.
Ummm, it's incredible.
& all I've been talking about to Andrew now is cabin, cabin, cabin!
I mean, who needs babies??
Let's just get a cabin!

I am also SO happy Holly and I have the same taste in decor and style so we will have the best time decorating and making this litte get-away unique and special to our 2 families.

Enjoy some "wants" from our Cabin Fever pinboard and follow along in the future:

Source: loghome.com via Holly on Pinterest
Source: 9gag.com via Holly on Pinterest

It's delectable, right?
Maybe not so Pinterest style cause let's get real:
we're 2 newly wed couples that don't make THAT much money.
But us girls can dream!

3.20.2012

Elle does the ER.

I pull into the neighborhood I work in yesterday morning a few minutes early.
I find my boss, Myles, driving like a maniac.
He stops-- rolls the window down and proceeds to inform:

"Elle cut her eye! It's so bad, she needs something! There's a key under the mat just hang out- will keep you updated!"

Ummm... okay??

Friday they asked me to move the glass coffee table back into the family room cause Elle is older and not a wobbly little one anymore; we all figured she could handle it. No big deal!

Oh, but we were wrong!!

I walked into the house to find bloody towels EVERYWHERE.
Things were thrown around as they tried getting all they needed heading out to the hospital.
All I could think was
"how bad is it going to be?"

I get the house cleaned up, laundry started, dishes done.... still nothing.
2 hours later Jenny texts me saying:
"Getting 3 stitches now... hopefully home in the next hour!
Please move the coffee table back to Master Room!!"
done & done.

The 3 of them come home and all I hear is Elle laughing...
Wait-- why is she laughing??
Well she was drunk off some medicine.
Jenny put her down and she giggled and wobbled over to me for hugs and kisses.
I couldn't help but laugh at how silly she was!
She was the drunk girl on a Friday night-- saying things she'll never remember!

Got her some food, threw on Toy Story and 20 minutes later babes was snuggling with me sleeping.
I'm so proud of this little one for taking on the ER head on!
She was a trooper!
& has a sexy shiner now.
What a BAMF.






Prayers are always appreciated for a fast recovery!
 

3.19.2012

Deep Roots.

Monday- Friday all I look forward to is getting home, cooking a meal and running a quick clean throughout the house to then enjoy a relaxing night with my husband.

It's the small moments while watching TV that make my heart melt.
When he reaches to hold my hand during The Office.
When he plays footsie with me over the ottoman.
When he hands me the remote to pick what I want to watch.

Love doesn't mean you'll always have extravagant dates and amazing butterflies.
It doesn't mean you'll always be excited to see each other or he's all you think about.
Love grows deeper roots than that.

Driving to church in silence is beautiful.
To be content with a relationship is to enjoy the quiet together.
A kiss on the forehead shows more love to me than a bouquet of flowers.

My love for Andrew has blossomed into something warm and defined.
I didn't know my heart could hold this amount of love for an individual.
He is the man I look to for guidance.
He's the guy that makes my heart smile.
He runs full force to my side when I'm in need of reassurance and support.

It's safe to say he has a firm grip on my heart.
He is my rock.

What am I trying to get at here??
Marriage isn't easy; it's not a swift walk through the park.
Or a cool ice cream cone on a summer's day.
It's challenging and irritating.
It's hard work.

But when you've found your match-- God will walk in the center of your marriage to keep peace after the storm. He will be there to hold your hands encouraging you.

Life is more than the material items, more than the daily grind.
It's about enjoying the choas or calmness.
So do it with that someone you can't live without.
 

3.18.2012

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my
sweet
goofy
spunky
lazy
irritating
loving
stinky
licking
Chiptole Burrito sized dog!!

Let's celebrate your awesomeness with a well deserved bone.

Happy 2 Brutus Pumpernickel!
We love you oddles.










3.16.2012

Migraines: my worst nightmare.

Tuesday I stayed home from work sick.
Not really sick, but I had an intense migraine and couldn't handle the pain.
The kind where the light made me puke, I was dizzy, shaking, nauseous....
You know, the best kinds! ;)
To update you all on a little of my past let me tell you a somewhat long....and struggling story.
------------------------------
I was in 13, dancing non-stop and about to go on tour for my church theatre group [Uprising].
I got sick.
Very suddenly & viciously.
I remember going to a final rehearsal for Uprising but sitting out watching the run through cause I was having intense stomach pains, bad headaches and was extremely dizzy. This was a Friday night; I went to bed after taking some Pepto Bismol and Excedrin.
 I woke early Saturday morning running to the bathroom having to throw up but didn't make it there.
Next thing I knew I was waking up in my dad's arms covered in blood.
I had passed out, seizured and thrown up everywhere.
I was throwing up blood.
I remeber grabbing my dad crying saying over and over I didn't feel good.
I was rushed to the ER which was conveniently located about 1/2mile from my home and going
90MPH- we got there quickly to say the least.
I passed out seizuring again as we were walking in the doors and don't remember much of being admitted or being taken care of right away.
I have glimpses of doctors working on me, inserting a tube up my nose and down my throat.
All I wanted was to go home to pack. I was supposed to be leaving for Florida in a few hours.
I was wheeled to the roof top where I was lifted into a helicopter and flown over to Phoenix Children's Hospital. I didn't know this at the time but my dad had a hard time leaving me. He begged to ride along for my sake but it just wasn't policy.The pilot promised to call my dad immediately upon landing at PCH as he did and my dad tells me now he couldn't be more thankful. Everytime this story comes up-- that's the first thing he talks about.
Phoenix Children's Hospital admitted me into the ICU [intensive care unit] where I had multiple blood transfusion and bags of plasma pumped back into my body. I had the tube up my nose and down my throat for 3 days while eating jello and popsicles; Day 4 I was moved to a normal room where I stayed for another day before being released.
While being there I had IV's in every vein they could find.
I was put under to have a scope done of the inside of my stomach.
I needed assitance showering and using the restroom.
I coulnd't sleep on my stomach with my arms bent [as I normally do] cause the damn IV would start beeping obnoxiously to alert the nurse something was wrong when all I wanted was some sleep.
It was the most exhausting, irritating and emotional week of my life.
I can say that for my family as well.
This all happened the week of my brother's 16TH birthday and the poor guy didn't even have his parents at the party; they were at my bedside day in and day out taking turns helping me with simple tasks of survival. We were so blessed to have family in town at arms reach to help out in every way. Sean's birthday party was thrown by grandparents and aunt's|uncle's and he still got his first car. :)
We later found out from the scope done that the lining in my stomach was eaten away by the Aspirin in the Excedrin. I was so busy with dance and theatre that life happened and I wasn't eating enough to soak up the drugs being consumed. I was put on medicine to coat my stomach [I gain about 15lbs] but it did it's job. I was told to eat tons of fatty, oily foods to stick to my stomach as well as a lining.
Then comes time to address the migraines and how to prevent them.
I started medicine to prevent them, to take when the on-set started, to take for pain and one for nausea.
I was dependent on prescription drugs.
I hated it. I felt defeated. Like I couldn't control my body and the way it felt and acted due to side effects. I was gaining weight, sweating so much, having mood swings, and passing out.... a lot.
Eventually I was taken off the prescriptions slowly as we changed my diet and cause I started birth control to help with hormones. I was migraine free for a while. But I still had them.
------------------------------
Here we are 9 years later and I am still suffering from daily pain. I was drug-free for 2 years with frequent migraines but I learned to deal with the throbbing and nausea; I didn't want to be dependent on prescriptions anymore.
July 2011 I submitted to starting a prevenative medicine again.
I didn't think it made much of a difference but when I've forgotten to take my pill I deal with 2-4 days of being in bed crying from the intense pain, missing work and feeling completely miserable.
I'm embarrassed by this controlling my life.
I never told my husbands family about my migraines until they mentioned to me that it seemed like I never wanted to be around them or never seemed to enjoy their company. It's not the case at all but I try hard to fake it and act as if I'm not struggling with pain. I've learned to be open and honest about how I'm feeling.
This isn't something I can control
& they still love me with or without migraines.
As does my own family and friends. I am very blessed to have an understanding environment.
My mother-in-law has been a saint with sending me remedies or options for helping.
Just on Sunday she told me about Feverfew which I was so excited to try.
Having dealt with a migraine so recently that kept me from work, I now have ordered it and am dying waiting to try it! She also ordered me a Baltic Amber bracelet which is known to help with pain.
I'm optimistic that things will change.
I'm have hope that God will work this out in my future.
This was a pretty deep post for me as I don't feel comfortable disclosing this imformation. It was a dark time in my life and I still struggle daily with what I went through, what my family went through and how to take on the next migraine I am bound to have. I know I'm not the only one who has dealt with hard times in life and I pray we can only learn and grow from those experiences we do have.
It's all part of the plan.
So all in all-- I want to thank all of you for opening your hearts to this worry of mine.
If any of you have migraines and great remedies that work for you; I am all ears.
You can contact me here or by commenting.
Happy Weekend my dolls!
Leaving you with this sweet gem:



Oh, Elle.
You make my heart smile.
 

3.13.2012

Nope, I'm not ready for a baby.

Andrew and I married October 1, 2010.
I was ready for a baby that night.

The first 6 months of our marriage it was constant talking about when we could have babies.
I was a nanny, loving it and ready for my own.
I had a step-son and wanted him to share love of a sibling.
I was ready to be a mom and wife to my family.
We decided we would evaluate where we were financially, spiritually, physically, emotionally 2 years into our marriage and consider that being the time to expand.

Here we are 1.5 years into our marriage and we are NOT expanding our home for a while.
We get asked the question all the time.
"So when will you guys have kids?"

Our answer?
We will evaluate where we are in another few years.
We still feel like newly weds; we're still learning and developing our relationship together.
We are the couple that wants to enjoy the little moments in front of us.
We want to travel.
We want to go out for Happy Hour.
We want to sleep in every chance we have.

I said on Twitter a few days back--
"It's safe to say my husband has a firm grip on my heart; love grows some deep roots!"
I am excited to see those roots grow deeper in our relationship before we throw more chaos into the mix.

We find it hard enough now finding a sitter for our dog so what's it going to be like when we have our own child together and needing to recreate our lifestyle?

We look forward to building our family together.
We are anxious to see the relationship Drake will have with a silbling.
We know God will bless us with our own miracle when the timing is right.
When the timing is meant to be.

I truly believe no one can be completely ready to welcome a little one into the world.
You can never be fully stable in your life and ready.
At least I know I'll never be!
[you're lying if you think you are 100% ready to take someones life into your hands(!!)]

You don't know what it'll be like having sleepless nights.
You don't know the stress financially you'll be taking on.
You don't know the amount of responsibility that comes tied in a neat bow around your babies little life.
But whenever you're blessed with that milestone-- it'll be right.

It'll be in God's timing and he will be there to provide strength and reassurance throughout the challenges.

Right now Andrew and I enjoy being parents to a 6 year old.
We are embracing being an Uncle and Aunt.
We are excited for what our future brings....in a few years that is.
Or more.
:)

3.12.2012

Tatt it up.

Hubs and I love tattoos.

I think you guys know this from reading here and by seeing pictures.
So it's no lie when I say we both have plenty more we want done.
What's stopping us??
 Well, fiances for one thing!
I mean our account isn't exactly looking forward to dropping thousands.
& I have a little "contract" with my dad about no tattoos until I finish school.
womp womp womp.
LAME.
[Yes dad, I said it!-- It's lame!]
 Which just happens to be the reason why I've been sweet talking the pops to get his first with me so we can bond over getting tatted together!
I'm so clever.
As of now, we're trying to plan a summer trip to NYC for a small vacation, family time and to get tattooed at Wooster Street Social Club.
How freakin' legit would that be?!

We have big dreams to get a tattoo representing our marriage and the commitment we made to each other.
I found this sweet idea on Pinterest and knew it was something we would do.







However, different saying.
Our first dance was to Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler
[the song he sings in the airplane to Julia]
So we've decided we will get:
"All I want to do..."
"is grow old with you."
It suits us so well and sums up our vows we made to each other.
Both will be done on our outside forearms.

Now Andrew is wanting to get his right arm sleeved as his left is already done in tribal.
He's thinking dark greys and blacks with some deep reds to contrast.
If you knew my husband-- this screams Andrew!
Theme is TBD.

Here's the one I'm stoked for hubs about:



His back piece.
I mean.... his WHOLE back.
Psalms 23
"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for You are with me."
This is going to be-


 incredible
beautiful
intricate
a statement


& will provide a constant reminder of strength cause God is with you.


My big tatt??
Philippians 1:7
"It is right for me to feel this way about you, because I hold you in my heart."
I took some beautiful pictures of  flowers on our honeymoon and want my forearm covered with them and to include this verse. It's a reminder of my husband and the beauty we share in our love.





Eventually.... that forearm will work into a full sleeve but that will happen once kiddos enter our home. There will be a lot of inspiration flowing when that happens!


I know some people think tattoos are trashy and they need to mean so much to have them permanently fixed on your body and in my case as well as Andrew's we feel very strongly about what is placed on us. We love tattoos. They're beautiful art that will travel a lifetime with us and we look forward to adding more to our canvas over the years we spend together.

3.06.2012

Zumba-- papa style.

Recently I started taking Zumba classes Tuesday|Thursdays at my gym.
Saturday when I was with my dad I told him all about it.
He's joining me tonight.
Umm, SUCCESS!
He had never seen a video of Zumba or what you actually do in the class;
all he knew was how I described it and that there were other men in the classes currently.
I enlightened him to a the actuality of the classes contents Sunday.
All he's worried about now is whether he needs some purple leg warmers and matching sweat band!
This will be epic.
I will attempt to take multiple pictures for proof.
However, I will probably be peeing myself laughing so hard so I'm not positive how successful I will be.
Let me disclose that he is terrible at dancing.
I mean HORRENDOUS-- no coordination.
So this will be a delightful night of much needed laughs and entertainment.


Can't wait to update you all tomorrow!
Happy Tuesday.

3.05.2012

Mexico Recap!

Meet my family:

This is my mom, Cindy.
A lightweight.
& so special in her own way!
;)


This is my dad, Eric.
He's a partier.
& hilarious when drinking.

This is my brother, Sean & his gf, Sami.
A match made in heaven.
Margarita lovers.


Hubs & I.
Newly weds.
Intoxicated 24/7 on vacation.

& the pups who joined:
Tessa|Martini
T--Pomeranian
M-- Chihuahua

We did A LOT of
drinking & chip eating
during our Mexico trip.


& when alcohol is involved it leads to these kinds of pictures:









& to these kinds of videos.
video

video

Yep, our vacations are a blast.

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